it’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight
im using tweezers to get all the seeds out of a strawberry this is Extreme Procrastination
this was absolutely not worth the effort i regret doing it
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck